I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
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I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
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The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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