hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
