Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize