If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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