Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
this hospital has no fireball
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
