Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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