I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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