Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize