When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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