There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize