Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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