You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
