Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
