The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
