Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
