Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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