I think I died a long time ago.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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