Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize