I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
