I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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