You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
