Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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