It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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