Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize