so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
