At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize