So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
