Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Come see our sink grown plant.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I need moral support for this bender
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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