Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
