having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
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He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
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It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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