tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
