eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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