I like to think it a success when the cops are called
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
