Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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