feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
