We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
