Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
