I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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