actually, I'm a sock model
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
