What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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