he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....