So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.