at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life