Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
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he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
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Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...