Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Intervention is following me on twitter.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
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multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.