I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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