4 words: hood of his car
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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