I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I can't turn off my feet"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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