you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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