someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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