Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
