Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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