I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
