what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
