I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize