I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My breasts were aching with rage.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
