did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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