I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
