Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw