Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.