...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize