Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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