dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
